Compliments

So tonight after a small "tiff" with my Mystery Man this evening, a long talk followed. Sometimes the best things you learn come from silence.

When Mystery Man is in a hole, and he'll tell you this himself, he keeps on digging until he can't get out anymore. He just hopes, he says, that he can come out the other side. It all starts with a word not meant...and then more words come that we both hope we will each forget.

So my accent makes me sound dumber? And that's true right Mystery Man, because you say "the polls" say so? Oh, and I shouldn't let people make me upset because then I lose control.

Ok so I tuned you out long ago you jerk. You just don't hear yourself do you? You are so busy being so logical you don't notice the girl next to you, the one next to you when no one else even knows you exist - ya her, she's crying. You don't know though because you are busy showing how you "were wrong" but you have to do it in the smarter fashion. It has to be in the way most logical huh? You are SO competitive you can't even just be sorry unless you win at it.


Behind all the words, are the silent thoughts we knew before...

I should learn to be more quiet, less sensitive.

Buy maybe you should learn to be less cold.

I should learn to breathe easier.

Maybe.

But you should learn to apologize.

I need to give you the benefit of the doubt; sure.

But you need to meet me half way.

Don't you even care????


But i'm so upset I don't hear you apologize. I don't see your hands shaking, your voice quiverring. You can't believe you hurt my feellings; and it was all from a statement that wouldn't make you flinch. You mean well don't you?

I didn't see your eyes open wider with concern, nor did I hear your voice sound so shaky until I was done being upset. I didn't see your facial expression...untill i was done crying enough to look

I thought you were turning away from me, but the whole time you were wishing I'd understand you were lost down a road you didn't know how to navigate.

At the end of the night, a few shaky voices and tears later, I find out that only a fool would let my friendship go...and I am a friend that's hard to find. Yes, yes he DOES care, more than he can show.

I won't put words in your mouth anymore Mystery Man. I know you care. :-)

So you care..and you just don't know how else to show me? So you can only demonstrate this over the long term...what? What exactly? What I already knew...before you said the only people you'd intentionally hurt in this life would be the ones that hurt me....that it's a good thing I was quiet during this or I may have missed it.

As you wish.

I Live Here Now

Yesterday was my first day of school for this semester. I'm almost too tired to blog. But I figured I'd update you.

As per the general fact pleading for the past few days: my friends and I went to a pub last night in Santa Monica called the King's Head Pub and had cider and played darts...it was fun. As of today I've been to each class once and I get my grades on Friday.

As per more of the notice pleading...My Mystery Man has yet again demonstrated his fascinating ability to fascinate me. Yesterday I went to see him about something...I knocked on his bedroom door and he said "yah" and when I entered he was lying on top of his bed, staring at the ceiling. I asked him if was sleeping and he said no because he knew I was coming. Now we had a chat and stuff for about and hour...but that's really beside my point. What was intriguing, was that he really DID know I was coming. Let me be more specific.

He said he knew I would "attempt contact" [as he calls it] then. So he scheduled his study break then. He rested on his bed with his phone on and next to him, as opposed to off and on the desk [which, I have been informed, is his motus operandi for nap time normally] and waited. He was surprised ONLY that I came over instead of called, but he knew. He knew my mood and what I wanted to talk about before I even got there, and when I would get there to talk about it.

I don't know HOW he knew that...but it only goes to show what I have to deal with here. The most mysterious thing about My Mystery Man is what he knows about me, not what I DON'T know about him.

Back to the Colder Ocean

I haven't been posting much since I've been home because I have been enjoying my time with my family. But as I finish burning a couple CDs here, I figured now would be a pretty good time to start back up again.

I am leaving for school in the morning. My bags are packed and I'm ready to go...and all that jazz. Except, well except I'm not REALLY ready to go. I guess I'll be allright on the plane since I have a few books, an iPod, and a really nice blue blanket I'm knitting for a friend's birthday [at least I think it looks nice and don't any of you go and tell because it's a secret!!!] When I get there, Big Jay is gonna pick me up. When I get home I'm sure I'll pass out. I have to go to the 8:15 service Sunday morning since I have to pick up Judd from the airport at 12:30 Sunday. After he's all situated I'll probably go back to bed and then get up late, watch King of the HIll and do some CrimPro and then sleep some more: Civ Pro bright and early at 8:00 is waiting for me Monday morning...Lord willing.

I'm too weary to write more now...pray for me as I leave home again...it almost gets harder every time...

Abilene

Well I'm in Abilene ladies and gentlemen!!! Last night my dad and brothers and I made the drive up to Abilene. We have tickets to see the Dallas Cowboy Football game on Sunday evening. We left home and drove here, where we had Taco Bueno for dinner...mmmm...nostalgia. All in all it was a good trip. We stopped on the way at the Half-Price Bookstore in San Antonio on Huebner...my fav. one of all!!! Oh the joy of books!! I truly am the queen of dorks.

After we got here I discovered that my boy Casey was here for a wedding!! So, sometime around 9:30 last night he showed up and hung out till around 11:30...then he had to go to the Bachelor Party which was just a giant gaming fest. Mr. O'Brien described it best in the following statement: "A bachelor party without women of ill repute? This must be a Christian bachelor party..." Hehe.

We've had breakfast and now the brothers are still attempting to sleep off their 12 hour NBA LIve Marathon...but TOO BAD!! Melanie will be here in a few hours and that will in fact be VERY COOL!! I'm also planning on seeing Jessica and Michael before I leave, and maybe swinging by the good doctor's house :-)

All in all, this is one wicked cool trip!!

Everything Is Alright Now

Everything is alright now; it just is. My best friend came home last night, and I was so happy. He came over after my familia got home from my mom's birthday escapade [more on that later] and stayed until 2:00 am. I was over at his house tonight and got to see his brothers and his family too.

I first met Andrew in elementary school; I think we were nine or so. Actually he was nine and I was eight. We weren't exactly friends then although we recoginzed each other's existences on occassion, and every once in a while played Chinese jump rope together. But since we were 13/14 or so [respectively] we've been inseperable.

I know the time will come when we cannot both come home anymore...where we won't have this anymore. He already is out of school and has a job: he lives in Austin now and works for TMEA. So he doesn't really live here anymore and I guess, neither do I. And as we grow up we have to make the time to see each other outside of tradtional vacation time. But even though we only get to hang out for 4 or 5 days this break, when I knew he was home, I felt as if I had gotten everything I wanted for Christmas: I came home and found everything and everyone as they should be.

So Far...

Well let's see how much fun I have had since I posted last. Well sir...Wednesday night was a BLAST!! We had a party at church with Tamales and bunelos and beans and rice and other such very tasty things. MMMMMM....Mim was home from vet school so she and Shoshannah and I came over to my house and hung out. We taught Shash how to use her iPod and then made hot cocoa and watched National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. Plus, Mim brought her new dog, Shiner Blonde [hehe] and he played with my dog, Captain Nemo, and it was so adorable.

Yesterday I baked sugar cookies and cranberry bread. I went shopping with my mom when she got home from work and that was a blast. We had pizza and watched Law & Order CI and then, we all watched ELF [I love that movie]. I'm knitting up a storm and am almost done with Andrew's scarf which is good, because he'e coming home today!!! It's also my mom's b-day so now would be a good time to go get all her presents out. Hope y'all's vacation is fun too :-)!!!

Vacation Is So Neato Daddio!

Well y'all, vacation has finally come to me! So I suppose it's time for a quick update-aroo!

Our last final was on Friday afternoon - and it was Crim. I totally blew it out of the water y'all, because God is so good to me. Afterwards I went over to the boys house to look for Mochi. Jay made taco salad for lunch, and it was tasty. I did the dishes in repayment for lunch and helped Jay and Dan get ready to go. They dueced out at around 2:00 and I went to the store to buy binders and stuff to finish organizing all my stuff for the semester. Judd took me to dinner around 6:00 or so at Guidos, at Italian restaurant down in the Crossing shopping center - it was SOO GOOD. Around 7:30 I left to meet my Tia in Ontario to get my car back in exchange for her Honda with the goofy rims. Got it and went home by 11:30 and helped Judd finish packing as we jammed to Mariah and other assorted Divas. Then, sleep.

Woke up at 6:00 am on Saturday and took a shower, packed and at 8:30 Judd and I were READY!!! Jay Parmalee took us to the airport and the rest my friends, is history!!


I'm enjoyin doing nothing: knitting in the den and watching Law & Order marathons in my room...playing with my beautiful dog. :-)

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