TOURANMENT OF DEATH: ADVENTURES IN HOUSTON WITH ACU DEBATE - PART DUEX

Wellz, the tournament's over and it is, unfortunately, time to talk about it. It all started when we woke on Friday and discovered that yes, we HAD made the mistake of volunteering to do the graveyard shift in hell. We showed up in the PARLI prep room and waited to draw our topics. At this point, we looked snazzy and we knew that we were going to expand the reaches of the Marketplace of Ideas by - metaphorically of course - completely DESTROYING THE WORLD WITH OUR WORDS.... [for those of you who don't know what parli is, you draw a topic, and get 15 minutes to prep and then you debate for 45 minutes based after the style of the british parliament.] Well, unfortunately for my team of staunch Republicans, the tab room was full of some VERY UNHAPPY DEMOCRATZ. EVERY SINGLE FLIPPIN' TOPIC WE HAD WAS STRAIGHT OFF OF THE DNC PLATFORM AND STRAIGHT FROM SATAN'S THINK TANK. [He, by the by, doesn't pay minimum wage because there are no malls IN HELL!!!] We had to debate everything from the wonder and beauty that is the Clinton legacy [chuckle chuckle, I mean that's really funny], to gay adoption rights, to the evils of the war on Iraq [because fighting injustice and setting free the oppressed Kurds in on God's I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE DO THAT TOP 10 LIST dudududududududu - I'm a top 10 radio station run by liberals and I play the same dumb soundbytes over and over and over again...and a monkey we hired came up with better ones but they weren't anti-american enough so we don't play those...] [jerks].

It gets better. My absolute favorite thing, is to debate that the ideals and intentions of the Supreme Court Decision in Brown v. Board of Education HAVE NOT BEEN REALIZED WITH A BLACK GIRL. We look like jerks. It's a good thing the judge was a law student...NEAL COATES YOUR'RE MY FAVORITE HUMAN BEING ON EARTH...

WE LOOK SO FREAKIN' SMART

peace out untill later

TOURNAMENT OF DEATH: ADVENTURES IN HOUSTON WITH ACU DEBATE - PART ONE

Hey there everyone...so I hear that I don't update my blog enough. Well, the last week and a half was just a sort of TEST PHASE...You know, to see if I wanted to even have a BLOG. I've obviously decided I wanted to so here we go:

TOURNAMENT OF DEATH: ADVENTURES IN HOUSTON WITH ACU DEBATE - PART ONE

Well, this weekend we went to the Pussycat Swing [yes, I know, the Pussycat Swing-shut up] @ the University of Houston and well, it was a very interesting experience. It all started on Thursday. We left here with just a small squad this time: Brandon Lemely, Brandon Smith, Cole, James, Layne, Kevin, Josh, and myself. Nicole was the only coach we had with us, Dr. Gary stayed home. We never really made it that far out of town before the adventure began...

We stopped at the Dairy Queen in Cross Plains - that's right, Cross Plains is as far out of town as we made it. It was there, where B - Lem told us two things most of us did NOT want to know:

1. What we will from now on refer to as "The Rule of 19"
2. What he thought about the cashier at Dairy Queen.

B-Lem is one of the most entertaining people you will ever meet in all actuality. Only three stops later, @ a gas station somewhere, he went inside to buy himself a "toy". What he returned with, was a symbol of his maturity: a cap gun. Now, this cap gun wasn't just for him to admire while he eats jelly-beans, oh no. This cap-gun, was to be used for oppression and coercion, a message he delivered to Josh about 20 minutes down the road from the gas station when he turned around and shot him in the stomach with it. After this short detour into the outer reaches of space however, we moved on.

We finally [six hundred and fifty two years later] arrived in "The Greater H-Town Area" and began the search for somewhere to eat. We decided we would go to Landry's, but never quite made it. We were so hungry (it was like 8:45 and WE STILL HADN'T EATEN) so when we saw Pappadeux, we just stopped. We had our "George Meal" at Pappadeux and the food and conversation was quite good. In fact, everything but the service was superb untill it came time to pay. Now, when I say "George Meal," what I mean is a meal on the team's credit-card named "George". For some strange reason, the Company Card was REJECTED [like Homestarrunner "BE-LETED"]. As it turns out, the like FOUR THOUSAND DOLLARS worth of plane tickets for the Minnesotta tournament in a couple weeks and the rental van and stuff made the company "concerned". We eventually got it worked out though.... Needless to say, the hotel however is on Nicole's credit card...

"Which brings us to our next area of analysis...THE HOTEL SUX!!". Now, usually when we go to Houston, we stay right by the Galleria on Westheimer. Somehow, we ended up in the BARRIO this weekend. We stayed in a scary La Quinta somewhere between Buffalo Speedway and HELL. One of the rooms was smelly, one was filthy, and mine had stuff GROWING on the toilet seat. Besides all that, it's pretty shady when all the doors to the rooms are OUTSIDE. Hmm...

Maybe things will improve: tune in next time for TOURNAMENT OF DEATH: ADVENTURES IN HOUSTON WITH ACU DEBATE - PART TWO

peace out: H-Town STOMP