Wellz, the tournament's over and it is, unfortunately, time to talk about it. It all started when we woke on Friday and discovered that yes, we HAD made the mistake of volunteering to do the graveyard shift in hell. We showed up in the PARLI prep room and waited to draw our topics. At this point, we looked snazzy and we knew that we were going to expand the reaches of the Marketplace of Ideas by - metaphorically of course - completely DESTROYING THE WORLD WITH OUR WORDS.... [for those of you who don't know what parli is, you draw a topic, and get 15 minutes to prep and then you debate for 45 minutes based after the style of the british parliament.] Well, unfortunately for my team of staunch Republicans, the tab room was full of some VERY UNHAPPY DEMOCRATZ. EVERY SINGLE FLIPPIN' TOPIC WE HAD WAS STRAIGHT OFF OF THE DNC PLATFORM AND STRAIGHT FROM SATAN'S THINK TANK. [He, by the by, doesn't pay minimum wage because there are no malls IN HELL!!!] We had to debate everything from the wonder and beauty that is the Clinton legacy [chuckle chuckle, I mean that's really funny], to gay adoption rights, to the evils of the war on Iraq [because fighting injustice and setting free the oppressed Kurds in on God's I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE DO THAT TOP 10 LIST dudududududududu - I'm a top 10 radio station run by liberals and I play the same dumb soundbytes over and over and over again...and a monkey we hired came up with better ones but they weren't anti-american enough so we don't play those...] [jerks].
It gets better. My absolute favorite thing, is to debate that the ideals and intentions of the Supreme Court Decision in Brown v. Board of Education HAVE NOT BEEN REALIZED WITH A BLACK GIRL. We look like jerks. It's a good thing the judge was a law student...NEAL COATES YOUR'RE MY FAVORITE HUMAN BEING ON EARTH...
WE LOOK SO FREAKIN' SMART
peace out untill later
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