Prayer

Lord of all pots and pans and tins; since I've no time to be
a saint by doing lovely things or watching late with Thee,
or dreaming in the twilight, or storming heaven's gates -
make me a saint by getting meals and washing up the plates.

Although I must have Martha's hands, I have a Mary mind,
and when I black the boots and shoes,Thy sandals Lord, I find.
I think of how Thou trod the Earth, each time I scrub the floor;

Accept this meditation Lord, I haven't time for more.

Warm all the kitchen with Thy love and light it with Thy peace;
Forgive me all my worrying and make all grumbling cease.

Thou who didst love to give men food in room or by the sea,
Accept this service that I do:
I do it unto Thee.

How Will I Know?

Ok, so here are the lyrics to an old-school Whitney Houston song I discovered in my iTunes library the other day. It intrigued me:


There’s a boy I know, he’s the one I dream of
Looks into my eyes, takes me to the clouds above
Ooh I lose control, can’t seem to get enough
When I wake from dreaming, tell me is it really love

Chorus:
How will I know (don’t trust your feelings)
How will I know
How will I know (love can be deceiving)
How will I know
How will I know if he really loves me
I say a prayer with every heart beat
I fall in love whenever we meet
I’m asking you what you know about these things
How will I know if he’s thinking of me
I try to phone but I’m too shy (can’t speak)
Falling in love is all bitter sweet
This love is strong why do I feel weak

Oh, wake me, I’m shaking, wish I had you near me now
Said there’s no mistaking, what I feel is really love

Chorus

If he loves me, if he loves me not (x3)

Chorus



Here's why I found this to be so intriguing. It seems to me, that what HE feels for HER is really none of her concern at this point. She spends one line on "he's the one I'm dreamin' of" and then skips right to "fallin' in love is so bitter sweet" etc. But the thing is, we're just supposed to presume that she is in love with him and the only question, is whether he will return her love or not.

The thing is, well I have multiple issues with this. Let's start at the beginning. While it's all well and good to assume that maybe she DOES care for him and really wants to know what he thinks of her, this song is so out of proportion. How can she truly be in love with someone she doesn't really know?? It's not "he's my friend and we've been friends forever and I love him in secret". Oh no, it's a boy she JUST MET. And so, every time they talk she falls for him more and more and just wants to know if he too, is senseless.

Secondly, she seems to steal all of the romance out of it for herself. The best way to express this would be to use a phrase a friend of mine used: "it is a rebuttable presumption that a guy doesn't like you. Let him rebutt it if he does." Good call! So, if he was interested in her, he would let her know. If he doesn't, maybe it's not time or maybe he may need a little push. But certainly, certainly a boy she just met doesn't need the assault of a song about how much she is in love with him every time they speak - so what, she sat next to him on a bus and that was it? The next week when he said hi to her at the bus stop or tipped his hat good morning she got weak in the knees? That's just stupid.

Finally, and most importantly. It seems to me that the REAL question - the most important question - would be how would she know if she really loved him. You don't need someone to always say they care for you for you to know it's true. Granted, they ought to say so, but it isn't necessary for determination, perhaps only from a reenforcement stand point. The real question, is what does she feel for him? Love is a serious and important thing, and it's not a game. I have found the most difficult decisions for me to be what I think about him, not what he thinks about me. If a guy likes you and asks you out, you need to decide what you think before you answer. And as the relationship progresses, it can only go as far as both people are willing to let it. If you feel something for him that he doesn't for you, you wait, or move on. If you don't feel for him what he feels for you, you still wait or move on. Both are YOUR choices. Everyone gets this choice.

I am more concerned now about deciphering my feelings for others, not deciphering their feelings for me. And I hope this is ALWAYS true.


KNOW THYSELF.

Thankfull

Well, I haven't posted in a while that's for sure! I've been studying y'all. I have also been very sick. Tuesday I took my first law school final ever. I was however, very sick. I had a fever and was very spaced out the entire time. My mystery man says that perhaps God is trying to even the scales so that EVERYONE else has a chance. I laughed.

Tuesday evening when they found out I was sick, Mochi and Mystery Man brought me juice. Then yesterday evening, during one of my many recovery naps, Mystery Man brought me juice and cough drops and vitamins. He came in my apartment unbeknownst to anyone, put them away, and left without a sound. When I woke up...I found the cough drops on my kitchen counter with a bottle of vitamins when I went to the kitchen to make more hot tea. I opened the fridge for milk for it and found orange juice. I called him and yes indeed, he had been there while I was sleeping and simply didn't want to wake me. He claims the door was open and although it may have been, the girls usually shut it at night when it gets cold. I guess, I guess he's just "stealthy". I guess he has been practicing. It is becoming for a man of mystery to be stealthy.

Well, I have slept a whole bunch over the past few days, and had another final today. I did so well on that exam today; I was congnisent and not distracted. God is so faithful: so good to me. He woke me up less sick and ready!! I remembered EVERYTHING I needed to. I'm so thankful for what He does for me.

I'm eating my third meal since Monday...I'm thankful for that too. There are people in the world who have NEVER heard of antibiotics and who are far sicker than I. They are just lying outside without a home and without food. They don't have blankets for their chills or a nice breeze for their fever. They don't have a Mystery man who could bring them cold orange juice and Zinc. They could not come in away from the animals or get away from the cold or the heat. I'm so thankful for everything God has blessed me with. The least I can do is study while I'm "sick" so I can help THEM later get in out of the cold.

For justice I study.

Christmas

I got my first Christmas present today! My Mystery Man bought me books! I had asked to read a book of his, one of a religious connotation, and I guess he just decided that i needed my own! So, he bought me three books by the same author and, it was even in a box. How exciting!


I'm going home soon - all I really want for Christmas is that. I want to go home.

Verse for the Day

1 Peter 1:3-9

3Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, 4and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade—kept in heaven for you, 5who through faith are shielded by God's power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. 6In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 7These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. 8Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, 9for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.

I'm Beautiful Beacuse I'm His Glory

Tonight my prayer time was spent out at alumni park. It is so beautiful there you know? Anyway, while I was siting there, all alone in the dark with God, I had absolutely the coolest thought [from Him] come into my head. God and I were having a nice chat about lots of stuff. When we were talking about one specific thing, guess what I realized? No matter how beautiful and exquisite the world is [ the ocean, the birds, Spring, Winter snow, a child's laugh] or even the universe and all the planets, I'm even MORE beautiful. God thinks I'm even more beautiful then any starscape. How unbelievable is that??

The creator of all things, the ruler of the heavens thinks I'm more breathtaking than even the most beautiful of star-scapes.


I am His Glory.


Righteous.

Now You've Done It!

You know what really annoys me? When people say they are going to be somewhere and they are not. Worse than having someone hang up on you [or have their phone cut out] is when they tell you to call and then don't answer. Especailly when it is important...


It's even worse...so I've been told...when they turn it off next...


Goodnight...more on this tomorrow.

COMING SOON TO A BLOG NEAR YOU: AFTERNOON STUDYING IN ALUMNI PARK!