Back to the Colder Ocean

I haven't been posting much since I've been home because I have been enjoying my time with my family. But as I finish burning a couple CDs here, I figured now would be a pretty good time to start back up again.

I am leaving for school in the morning. My bags are packed and I'm ready to go...and all that jazz. Except, well except I'm not REALLY ready to go. I guess I'll be allright on the plane since I have a few books, an iPod, and a really nice blue blanket I'm knitting for a friend's birthday [at least I think it looks nice and don't any of you go and tell because it's a secret!!!] When I get there, Big Jay is gonna pick me up. When I get home I'm sure I'll pass out. I have to go to the 8:15 service Sunday morning since I have to pick up Judd from the airport at 12:30 Sunday. After he's all situated I'll probably go back to bed and then get up late, watch King of the HIll and do some CrimPro and then sleep some more: Civ Pro bright and early at 8:00 is waiting for me Monday morning...Lord willing.

I'm too weary to write more now...pray for me as I leave home again...it almost gets harder every time...

Abilene

Well I'm in Abilene ladies and gentlemen!!! Last night my dad and brothers and I made the drive up to Abilene. We have tickets to see the Dallas Cowboy Football game on Sunday evening. We left home and drove here, where we had Taco Bueno for dinner...mmmm...nostalgia. All in all it was a good trip. We stopped on the way at the Half-Price Bookstore in San Antonio on Huebner...my fav. one of all!!! Oh the joy of books!! I truly am the queen of dorks.

After we got here I discovered that my boy Casey was here for a wedding!! So, sometime around 9:30 last night he showed up and hung out till around 11:30...then he had to go to the Bachelor Party which was just a giant gaming fest. Mr. O'Brien described it best in the following statement: "A bachelor party without women of ill repute? This must be a Christian bachelor party..." Hehe.

We've had breakfast and now the brothers are still attempting to sleep off their 12 hour NBA LIve Marathon...but TOO BAD!! Melanie will be here in a few hours and that will in fact be VERY COOL!! I'm also planning on seeing Jessica and Michael before I leave, and maybe swinging by the good doctor's house :-)

All in all, this is one wicked cool trip!!

Everything Is Alright Now

Everything is alright now; it just is. My best friend came home last night, and I was so happy. He came over after my familia got home from my mom's birthday escapade [more on that later] and stayed until 2:00 am. I was over at his house tonight and got to see his brothers and his family too.

I first met Andrew in elementary school; I think we were nine or so. Actually he was nine and I was eight. We weren't exactly friends then although we recoginzed each other's existences on occassion, and every once in a while played Chinese jump rope together. But since we were 13/14 or so [respectively] we've been inseperable.

I know the time will come when we cannot both come home anymore...where we won't have this anymore. He already is out of school and has a job: he lives in Austin now and works for TMEA. So he doesn't really live here anymore and I guess, neither do I. And as we grow up we have to make the time to see each other outside of tradtional vacation time. But even though we only get to hang out for 4 or 5 days this break, when I knew he was home, I felt as if I had gotten everything I wanted for Christmas: I came home and found everything and everyone as they should be.

So Far...

Well let's see how much fun I have had since I posted last. Well sir...Wednesday night was a BLAST!! We had a party at church with Tamales and bunelos and beans and rice and other such very tasty things. MMMMMM....Mim was home from vet school so she and Shoshannah and I came over to my house and hung out. We taught Shash how to use her iPod and then made hot cocoa and watched National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. Plus, Mim brought her new dog, Shiner Blonde [hehe] and he played with my dog, Captain Nemo, and it was so adorable.

Yesterday I baked sugar cookies and cranberry bread. I went shopping with my mom when she got home from work and that was a blast. We had pizza and watched Law & Order CI and then, we all watched ELF [I love that movie]. I'm knitting up a storm and am almost done with Andrew's scarf which is good, because he'e coming home today!!! It's also my mom's b-day so now would be a good time to go get all her presents out. Hope y'all's vacation is fun too :-)!!!

Vacation Is So Neato Daddio!

Well y'all, vacation has finally come to me! So I suppose it's time for a quick update-aroo!

Our last final was on Friday afternoon - and it was Crim. I totally blew it out of the water y'all, because God is so good to me. Afterwards I went over to the boys house to look for Mochi. Jay made taco salad for lunch, and it was tasty. I did the dishes in repayment for lunch and helped Jay and Dan get ready to go. They dueced out at around 2:00 and I went to the store to buy binders and stuff to finish organizing all my stuff for the semester. Judd took me to dinner around 6:00 or so at Guidos, at Italian restaurant down in the Crossing shopping center - it was SOO GOOD. Around 7:30 I left to meet my Tia in Ontario to get my car back in exchange for her Honda with the goofy rims. Got it and went home by 11:30 and helped Judd finish packing as we jammed to Mariah and other assorted Divas. Then, sleep.

Woke up at 6:00 am on Saturday and took a shower, packed and at 8:30 Judd and I were READY!!! Jay Parmalee took us to the airport and the rest my friends, is history!!


I'm enjoyin doing nothing: knitting in the den and watching Law & Order marathons in my room...playing with my beautiful dog. :-)

HOME

Prayer

Lord of all pots and pans and tins; since I've no time to be
a saint by doing lovely things or watching late with Thee,
or dreaming in the twilight, or storming heaven's gates -
make me a saint by getting meals and washing up the plates.

Although I must have Martha's hands, I have a Mary mind,
and when I black the boots and shoes,Thy sandals Lord, I find.
I think of how Thou trod the Earth, each time I scrub the floor;

Accept this meditation Lord, I haven't time for more.

Warm all the kitchen with Thy love and light it with Thy peace;
Forgive me all my worrying and make all grumbling cease.

Thou who didst love to give men food in room or by the sea,
Accept this service that I do:
I do it unto Thee.

How Will I Know?

Ok, so here are the lyrics to an old-school Whitney Houston song I discovered in my iTunes library the other day. It intrigued me:


There’s a boy I know, he’s the one I dream of
Looks into my eyes, takes me to the clouds above
Ooh I lose control, can’t seem to get enough
When I wake from dreaming, tell me is it really love

Chorus:
How will I know (don’t trust your feelings)
How will I know
How will I know (love can be deceiving)
How will I know
How will I know if he really loves me
I say a prayer with every heart beat
I fall in love whenever we meet
I’m asking you what you know about these things
How will I know if he’s thinking of me
I try to phone but I’m too shy (can’t speak)
Falling in love is all bitter sweet
This love is strong why do I feel weak

Oh, wake me, I’m shaking, wish I had you near me now
Said there’s no mistaking, what I feel is really love

Chorus

If he loves me, if he loves me not (x3)

Chorus



Here's why I found this to be so intriguing. It seems to me, that what HE feels for HER is really none of her concern at this point. She spends one line on "he's the one I'm dreamin' of" and then skips right to "fallin' in love is so bitter sweet" etc. But the thing is, we're just supposed to presume that she is in love with him and the only question, is whether he will return her love or not.

The thing is, well I have multiple issues with this. Let's start at the beginning. While it's all well and good to assume that maybe she DOES care for him and really wants to know what he thinks of her, this song is so out of proportion. How can she truly be in love with someone she doesn't really know?? It's not "he's my friend and we've been friends forever and I love him in secret". Oh no, it's a boy she JUST MET. And so, every time they talk she falls for him more and more and just wants to know if he too, is senseless.

Secondly, she seems to steal all of the romance out of it for herself. The best way to express this would be to use a phrase a friend of mine used: "it is a rebuttable presumption that a guy doesn't like you. Let him rebutt it if he does." Good call! So, if he was interested in her, he would let her know. If he doesn't, maybe it's not time or maybe he may need a little push. But certainly, certainly a boy she just met doesn't need the assault of a song about how much she is in love with him every time they speak - so what, she sat next to him on a bus and that was it? The next week when he said hi to her at the bus stop or tipped his hat good morning she got weak in the knees? That's just stupid.

Finally, and most importantly. It seems to me that the REAL question - the most important question - would be how would she know if she really loved him. You don't need someone to always say they care for you for you to know it's true. Granted, they ought to say so, but it isn't necessary for determination, perhaps only from a reenforcement stand point. The real question, is what does she feel for him? Love is a serious and important thing, and it's not a game. I have found the most difficult decisions for me to be what I think about him, not what he thinks about me. If a guy likes you and asks you out, you need to decide what you think before you answer. And as the relationship progresses, it can only go as far as both people are willing to let it. If you feel something for him that he doesn't for you, you wait, or move on. If you don't feel for him what he feels for you, you still wait or move on. Both are YOUR choices. Everyone gets this choice.

I am more concerned now about deciphering my feelings for others, not deciphering their feelings for me. And I hope this is ALWAYS true.


KNOW THYSELF.