Ok guys; so there is this song I thought of today. It's a REALLY OLD Wierd Al song called "One More Minute" which may be THE BEST break-up song EVER...but I thought of it for a different reason. Wouldn't it be the perfect law school song if you changed just a few of the words? Here we go [the words i changed are BOLDED]
Aahh....
Well I heard that I passed (passed')
Gonna have another semester (semester)
'Cause my Torts Professor passed me
I decided that this is a disaster (aahh..)
So I pulled (I pulled) all the names out (name out) of my Rolodex (oohh..)
And I tore all my pictures in two
And I burned down the malt shop where my friends used to go
it reminds me of what real people do (dippity dippity doo)
That's right (that's right) you ain't gonna see me cryin'
I'm glad (I'm glad) that i'm not number 1 or 2
'Cause I'd rather spend eternity eating shards of broken glass
Than spend one more minute in law school.
I guess I might seem kinda bitter
Remedies got me feeling down in the dumps
'Cause I'm stranded all alone in the gas station of love
And I have to use the self-service pumps
Oh, so honey, let me help you with that Authentication
Wills & Trusts (Con Law) gonna break my heart in two
'Cause I'd rather get a hundred thousand paper cuts on my face
Than spend one more minute in law school.
I'd rather rip out my intestines with a fork
Than watch one more Westlaw search go
I'd rather slam my fingers in a door (yah)
Again and again and again and again and again
Oh, can't you see what I'm tryin' to say, Mom...
I'd rather have my blood sucked out by leeches (leeches)
Shove an icepick under a toenail or two
I'd rather clean all the bathrooms in Grand Central Station with my tongue
Than spend one more minute in law school.
Yes, I'd rather jump naked on a huge pile of thumbtacks
Or stick my nostrils together with crazy glue
I'd rather dive into a swimming pool filled with double-edged razor blades
Than spend one more minute in law school.
I'd rather rip my heart right out of my ribcage with my bare hands
and then throw it on the floor and stomp on it 'till I die
Than spend one more minute in law school.
Shepardize THAT!
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1 comment:
Lizz, this is largely unrelated, but I have a list of songs for every stage of breaking up:
Looking back: Rocky Votolato; White Daisy Passing "All I want to do is turn around."
Getting closure: Sister Hazel: Champagne High "Our story's completed; mine is a long way from done."
Getting fed up: Rilo Kiley; So Long "And it's finally time for so long."
For spite: Rilo Kiley; Teenage Love Song "Got yours comin', I seen it before."
The Postal Service; Nothing Better "My heart won't heal right if you keep tearing out the sutures."
Forgetting: Stars; Your Ex-Lover Is Dead "All that time you thought I was sad, I was trying to remember your name."
See ya: Kaiser Chiefs; Everyday I love you less and less "You're turning into something I detest"
Uncategorized extras:
Hot Hot Heat; Goodnight, Goodnight "I've given up on social niceties; I threw them out when I threw out your keys."
Death Cab for Cutie; Brothers on a Hotel Bed "Our December sun is setting, cause I'm not who I used to be."
Bloc Party; Bluest Light "I still feel you in the taste of cigarettes."
Dave Matthews; Stay or Leave "I want you not to go, but you did."
Anna Nalick; Wreck of the Day "Love doesn't hurt, so I know I'm not falling in love; I'm just falling to pieces."
Goo Goo Dolls; It's Over "And I didn't think about all the ways I hurt you and myself."
Third Eye Blind; Motorcycle Drive By "I've never been so alone, and I've never been so alive."
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