I've been told by some - INCLUDING YOU MYSTERY MAN - that there are some rules I should accept now that I'm living here in California. Well, here is MY response to THAT:
Rules For Entering Texas
These apply to every person as they enter Texas. Learn ’em & ’member
’em. East Coast and California-types should pay particular attention!
1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.
2. Let’s get this straight; it’s called a "gravel road," I drive a
pickup truck because I need to. No matter how slow you drive, you’re
going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get the hell out of the
way.
3. Those are cattle & oil wells. That’s what they smell like to you.
They smell like money to us. Get over it. You don’t like it? I-20
And I-10 go east and west, I-35 goes north and south. Pick one and
go.
4. So you have a $60,000 dollar car. We’re impressed. We have
quarter-million dollar cotton strippers that we drive 3 weeks a year.
5. So what if every person in every pickup waves. It’s called being
friendly. Try to understand the concept.
6. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of doves are coming in, we
WILL shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don’t have it
up to your ear at the time.
7. Yeah, we eat catfish & crawdads. You really want sushi &caviar?
It’s available at the corner bait shop.
8. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It’s a
religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of
November.
9. We open doors for women. That applies to everyone, regardless of
age.
10. No, there’s no "vegetarian special" on the menu. Order a steak.
Or order the Chef’s Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham &turkey.
11. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats,
vegetables and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper and green
chili. Oh, yeah .... We don’t care what you folks in Cincinnati call
that stuff you eat... It AIN’T REAL CHILI!! Chili was born and bred
in San Antonio....and real chili never met a tomato!
12. You bring "coke" into my house, it better be brown, wet, and
served over ice. You bring "Mary Jane" into my house, she better be
cute,
know how to shoot, drive a truck and have pretty long hair.
13. High School Football is as important here as the Lakers and the
Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch.
14. Yeah, we have golf courses. Don’t hit the water hazards - it spooks the fish.
15. Colleges? Try Texas A&M. They come outta there with an education, plus a love for God and country, and they still wave at passing pickups when they come home for the holidays.
16. We have more folks in the Navy, Army, Marines and Air Force than any other state, so "Don’t Mess with Texas." If you do, you will get your butt whipped by the best.
17. Always remember what our great governor Sam Houston once said:
"Texas can make it without the United States, but the United States
can’t make it without Texas."
18. By the way, the boys that captured So-Damn Insane (Hussein) were
from...Yep! You guessed it~~"The Great State of Texas."
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
Nicknames
I have always had a facination with nicknames. I think everyone, secretly, has a facination with nicknames. It is my personal belief [and as we have covered many times previous to the instant post on this blog, all my personal beliefs and opinions are correct] that everyone has always secretly wished that they had a cool nickname. Do not deny it, for it is the absolute truth!!
But what exactly do nicknames mean? Some nicknames, are for private use only. For example, there are those we use with teachers or authority figures that are only to indicate a sense exhasperation with them. One of my proffessors in undergrad was a bit bumbling and kind of awkward. Somehow though, he was often put in charge of big public events, often turning them into big public spectacles. This led to the nickname "Bubbles", a derivitave of Bubbles the Clown. But similarly, some nicknames that are private are not for ridicule purposes, but for the purposes of affection: like when my daddy called me Foo Foo when I was a baby.
As we grow older though, we all want to be the one with the good nickname. All good nicknames have good stories. I will tell you what though: I have often been facinated by people with enough skill to choose their own nicknames. That is something which has NEVER failed to impress me. Those are the people who are so rogue, so cool, that they can say things like "Call me the Fonz" and everyone WILL JUST DO IT! I have read enough Judy Blume books to know that this is CLEARLY not how it works in real life. There a plenty of examples of young adolescents who give it their all: they will do ABSOLUTELY anything to get people to call them Trixie, or Pinkie, or some other thing that ends in "IE" or "Y" pronounced "eeeeeeeee". But it doesn't seem to work out well for them...now why is that I wonder?
I'll tell you why that is ladies and gentlemen, it's because nicknames are inherently cool: both the ones that are used mockingly and those that are not. If no one cases about you or your mild ability to annoy then clearly they will not take the time to assign you a nickname. But if you are so menacing as to qualify you for "nickname land" than you are GOLDEN. that's why these silly teeny-boppers could not force nick-nameness. You can't force cool. Only the truly cool can say "You will refer to me as Mystery Man yes?" and have people acquiesce. Man, NOW THAT'S cool.
Nicknames always have something important to say about people. It seems to me that most people worry more about their nicknames then they are willing to admit. We all want someone -particularly that certian someone- to pay attention to us enough to give us a nickname, but we wonder what each nickname means. What is the secret meaning behind the names others give us? I think the real question is, why are we only happy with nicknames that reflect what we would hope to project about ourselves?
But what exactly do nicknames mean? Some nicknames, are for private use only. For example, there are those we use with teachers or authority figures that are only to indicate a sense exhasperation with them. One of my proffessors in undergrad was a bit bumbling and kind of awkward. Somehow though, he was often put in charge of big public events, often turning them into big public spectacles. This led to the nickname "Bubbles", a derivitave of Bubbles the Clown. But similarly, some nicknames that are private are not for ridicule purposes, but for the purposes of affection: like when my daddy called me Foo Foo when I was a baby.
As we grow older though, we all want to be the one with the good nickname. All good nicknames have good stories. I will tell you what though: I have often been facinated by people with enough skill to choose their own nicknames. That is something which has NEVER failed to impress me. Those are the people who are so rogue, so cool, that they can say things like "Call me the Fonz" and everyone WILL JUST DO IT! I have read enough Judy Blume books to know that this is CLEARLY not how it works in real life. There a plenty of examples of young adolescents who give it their all: they will do ABSOLUTELY anything to get people to call them Trixie, or Pinkie, or some other thing that ends in "IE" or "Y" pronounced "eeeeeeeee". But it doesn't seem to work out well for them...now why is that I wonder?
I'll tell you why that is ladies and gentlemen, it's because nicknames are inherently cool: both the ones that are used mockingly and those that are not. If no one cases about you or your mild ability to annoy then clearly they will not take the time to assign you a nickname. But if you are so menacing as to qualify you for "nickname land" than you are GOLDEN. that's why these silly teeny-boppers could not force nick-nameness. You can't force cool. Only the truly cool can say "You will refer to me as Mystery Man yes?" and have people acquiesce. Man, NOW THAT'S cool.
Nicknames always have something important to say about people. It seems to me that most people worry more about their nicknames then they are willing to admit. We all want someone -particularly that certian someone- to pay attention to us enough to give us a nickname, but we wonder what each nickname means. What is the secret meaning behind the names others give us? I think the real question is, why are we only happy with nicknames that reflect what we would hope to project about ourselves?
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
Home
It's been a busy past week and a half you know? Friday Mystery Man [yes, he strikes again!] - and I went with everyone else over to the 3rd Street Promenade for our Section C Party. My roomie - Chelsea [heck yes she's cool] organized it. So M&M [Mystery Man] was over here at 4:15, as instructed, but it turns out that Brendan [Chelsea's boy] wasn't ready to go yet. We pretty much waited around for Brendan for like 45 minutes. M&M and I hung out and talked about Classic Rock and other randomness and then Chelsea said it was time to go. Brendan had some kind of issue on his way down the stairs and ended up not driving with us. Chelsea and Andy took one car and M&M and I took another.
It was fun. We all hung out and ate and there was pool and stuff: Chelsea had gotten us a whole floor! It was pretty fun y'all! After a while, as more people began to show up and more alcohol began to pass through their veins, M&M and I bailed for general Promenade fun.
For those of you who don't live around here, the 3rd Street Promenade is world-famous!! It's multiple blocks with stores, bars, street performers, food, EVERYTHING!! It's so cool. We just hung out and talked and stuff: relaxin' doin' nothing [a rare commodity around here!]. I think we only went in one store - Barnes and Noble. Anyway, we left the promenade after a couple of hours and came back here to campus. We played Game Cube for a while and then watched South Park. At about 1:30 we called it a night.
Saturday morning I left for home the remix. When I got to my Abuela's house, she said I was skinnier. "oh la la!!" While telling me I could stay skinnier by not eating flour tortillas, she proceeded to feed me like twice in 4 hours. I love mi abulea! The weekend was wonderful and relaxing. Good food, my wonderful family, some shopping, and new running shoes! Abuela made me tortillas to take with me, and I took the 101 into Calabasas [instead of the 10 to the PCH] cause I like to see Hollywood at night, and because I stopped at Jonathan's [WonderBoy!]. WonderBoy! got 6 tortillas and we hung out for a while. Then I headed home for bed.
Class has been business as usual here for a while. We had the canned immunity thing today [bring a can for the food drive to class and your prof can't call on you! How righteous is that!] and Jonathan [Mr. Jonathan Webb, NOT Wonder Boy!] invited me to lunch with him. It was good...pizza. I'm sleepy now so I'm heading to bed. I don't really have anything substantive to offer today, but I do have three closing comments:
1. I BOUGHT MY PLANE TICKET HOME FOR CHRISTMAS VACATION AND AM COUNTING DOWN THE DAYS!!!
2. I have a Texas Mix that I listen to, and it makes me happy!
3. I lost my teddy bear...
sad :-(
It was fun. We all hung out and ate and there was pool and stuff: Chelsea had gotten us a whole floor! It was pretty fun y'all! After a while, as more people began to show up and more alcohol began to pass through their veins, M&M and I bailed for general Promenade fun.
For those of you who don't live around here, the 3rd Street Promenade is world-famous!! It's multiple blocks with stores, bars, street performers, food, EVERYTHING!! It's so cool. We just hung out and talked and stuff: relaxin' doin' nothing [a rare commodity around here!]. I think we only went in one store - Barnes and Noble. Anyway, we left the promenade after a couple of hours and came back here to campus. We played Game Cube for a while and then watched South Park. At about 1:30 we called it a night.
Saturday morning I left for home the remix. When I got to my Abuela's house, she said I was skinnier. "oh la la!!" While telling me I could stay skinnier by not eating flour tortillas, she proceeded to feed me like twice in 4 hours. I love mi abulea! The weekend was wonderful and relaxing. Good food, my wonderful family, some shopping, and new running shoes! Abuela made me tortillas to take with me, and I took the 101 into Calabasas [instead of the 10 to the PCH] cause I like to see Hollywood at night, and because I stopped at Jonathan's [WonderBoy!]. WonderBoy! got 6 tortillas and we hung out for a while. Then I headed home for bed.
Class has been business as usual here for a while. We had the canned immunity thing today [bring a can for the food drive to class and your prof can't call on you! How righteous is that!] and Jonathan [Mr. Jonathan Webb, NOT Wonder Boy!] invited me to lunch with him. It was good...pizza. I'm sleepy now so I'm heading to bed. I don't really have anything substantive to offer today, but I do have three closing comments:
1. I BOUGHT MY PLANE TICKET HOME FOR CHRISTMAS VACATION AND AM COUNTING DOWN THE DAYS!!!
2. I have a Texas Mix that I listen to, and it makes me happy!
3. I lost my teddy bear...
sad :-(
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
Choosing to Choose
There are some issues in life, very few of course, that I do not have an opinion on or about. I can say with absolute certainty that I have formulated an opinion about just about everything, and that this opinion is correct. I am however, open-minded, and have changed my mind before on certain issues. Then, it is my NEWLY formed and better informed opinion that is correct. I have to believe that, because otherwise the opinion's not worth having. I believe I can believe I'm right and still be open-minded...[And anyone who DOESN'T buy THAT analysis is clearly mistaken and very stupid.] [The End]
But a problem arises when I run into one of those few areas I havne't formed an opinion about. I've discovered that I can group these "no comment" issues into three main categories:
1. I don't care. [This includes things like mongoose importation laws and city zoning laws concerning how many pick-up trucks can be parked in front of one frat-house]
2. I have no idea what would happen to me if I actually voiced my REAL opinion on these issues. [This includes things like copying someone else's CDs to my powerbook and then putting them on my iPod and jammin' to the tunage on the way to Property Class, enjoying the irony all the way...]
3. I'm too scared to decide. [This category is the only one that matters.]
Included in the third category of "no comment" issues are all the substantive public policy concerns focused around gay rights. As a card-carrying member of the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy [it's true, I got it from a book at Barnes & Noble], I am well aware that many of my compatriots - especially those from the south - use "gay rights" as a brite-line for party affiliation. To quote a friend of mine [sadly] "Republicans may be bad about some things, like helpin' the poor and all that junk, but Democrats kill babies and let gays fornicate!" When I heard him say that for the first time [and frankly, each and every time after the first time], I knew it was wrong. I knew it was rude, unnecessary and uncalled for. But I didn't know what to say, or how to respond.
I usually stay out of the whole Gay Rights issue, though not because it's too complicated, or I don't care. On the contrary, I have opinions on issues as complex and detailed as Russia's arms-dealing with Armenia, underground oil pipelines, the ability of the ICC to issue subpeonas, and the Togese presidential power system. I hardly think that the dpeth of the issue could be a deterent. And I definately care about ANY issue involving the allocation or denial of rights to any person. The reason I don't have an opinion is because it's in category three. Rather, it's in category three BECAUSE I'm too scared to decide. I knew the time would come when I would be forced too, but I guess I just figured I was too busy to worry about that now. Then, Red Cross came. [Why is it that Red Cross always represents something evil in the illustrations of conservatives? Answer: Because itare evil.]
I went to our law school's blood drive the other day, and while I was being asked all the questions one is normally asked to decide if one ought to be excluded from the blood donation pool. Some of the questions seemed reasonable: had I had sex recently with anyone with TB? [No, no sex at all, ever...] Had I had sex with a prostitutue? Had I had sex with a man who had had sex with another man? Wait wait wait. So, having sex with prostitute is clearly something that might give me a disease. So too, is having sex with a man with TB equally dangerous. But having sex with a man who had had sex with another man? That's absurd. They didn't ask me if I had had sex with another woman. What is the big deal?
Oh wait, I know! Either (A) we can't have sex with men who have sex with other men [besides the obvious reasons entailed within holding to a Christian faith] because gay men carry disease. If I had said yes to that question, I would have been IMMEDIATELY disqualified from giving blood. Basically, they don't care how safe the sex is between gay men because gay men carry disease. Period. Safe sex between heterosexuals is ok, so is even UNSAFE sex between lesbians, as long as that other female doesn't carry TB. That's proposterous.
Oh I'm sorry Red Cross, was that not the reason you asked me that question? Well, the only other reason I can think of is that you think gay men have some sort of "gayness" gene we DEFINATELY wouldn't want flowing through other people's vains. I'm just so offended right now. I mean the thought of telling someone you don't want their potentially life saving blood because they are a gay man or might have had sex with a man who had sex with another man is absolutely repugnant. I guess it is ok, as long as I can be sure that you, Red Cross, are going walk up and down the ERs of hospitals and explain to the families of people who's lives were lost for lack of blood that you could have saved them if you weren't so sickeningly homophobic. You make me sick.
You test the blood anyway don't you? I mean honestly. The effects of this public policy are horrific!
1. You are encouraging people to LIE to you when they answer questions about their lives. Clearly this could have all SORTS of horrid implications.
2. You sirs and madams, are encouraging a disgusting breed of homophobia; state sponsored repression. Don't bother government, in passing hate-crime legislation, when benevolent organizations like the Red Cross are teaching Americans how to fee and think about the issue: don't touch gay men! Their blood is diseased and has "the gayness". Oh my heaven.
Now you may infer from this post, that I myself am a lesbian. This is not the case. Nor is it the case, that I have found any sort of scriptural support for the concept that homosexuality is not a sin. But that doesn't really matter now does it? First of all, because what the Red Cross is doing is morally wrong, if for no other reason then they are discriminating based on sexual preference, perpetuating lies about the gay community, and teaching people to hate. I don't know what to do about gay rights but THIS is clearly NOT the answer.
Shame on you Red Cross. Go help someone else because your "benevolance" is not wanted here.
But a problem arises when I run into one of those few areas I havne't formed an opinion about. I've discovered that I can group these "no comment" issues into three main categories:
1. I don't care. [This includes things like mongoose importation laws and city zoning laws concerning how many pick-up trucks can be parked in front of one frat-house]
2. I have no idea what would happen to me if I actually voiced my REAL opinion on these issues. [This includes things like copying someone else's CDs to my powerbook and then putting them on my iPod and jammin' to the tunage on the way to Property Class, enjoying the irony all the way...]
3. I'm too scared to decide. [This category is the only one that matters.]
Included in the third category of "no comment" issues are all the substantive public policy concerns focused around gay rights. As a card-carrying member of the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy [it's true, I got it from a book at Barnes & Noble], I am well aware that many of my compatriots - especially those from the south - use "gay rights" as a brite-line for party affiliation. To quote a friend of mine [sadly] "Republicans may be bad about some things, like helpin' the poor and all that junk, but Democrats kill babies and let gays fornicate!" When I heard him say that for the first time [and frankly, each and every time after the first time], I knew it was wrong. I knew it was rude, unnecessary and uncalled for. But I didn't know what to say, or how to respond.
I usually stay out of the whole Gay Rights issue, though not because it's too complicated, or I don't care. On the contrary, I have opinions on issues as complex and detailed as Russia's arms-dealing with Armenia, underground oil pipelines, the ability of the ICC to issue subpeonas, and the Togese presidential power system. I hardly think that the dpeth of the issue could be a deterent. And I definately care about ANY issue involving the allocation or denial of rights to any person. The reason I don't have an opinion is because it's in category three. Rather, it's in category three BECAUSE I'm too scared to decide. I knew the time would come when I would be forced too, but I guess I just figured I was too busy to worry about that now. Then, Red Cross came. [Why is it that Red Cross always represents something evil in the illustrations of conservatives? Answer: Because itare evil.]
I went to our law school's blood drive the other day, and while I was being asked all the questions one is normally asked to decide if one ought to be excluded from the blood donation pool. Some of the questions seemed reasonable: had I had sex recently with anyone with TB? [No, no sex at all, ever...] Had I had sex with a prostitutue? Had I had sex with a man who had had sex with another man? Wait wait wait. So, having sex with prostitute is clearly something that might give me a disease. So too, is having sex with a man with TB equally dangerous. But having sex with a man who had had sex with another man? That's absurd. They didn't ask me if I had had sex with another woman. What is the big deal?
Oh wait, I know! Either (A) we can't have sex with men who have sex with other men [besides the obvious reasons entailed within holding to a Christian faith] because gay men carry disease. If I had said yes to that question, I would have been IMMEDIATELY disqualified from giving blood. Basically, they don't care how safe the sex is between gay men because gay men carry disease. Period. Safe sex between heterosexuals is ok, so is even UNSAFE sex between lesbians, as long as that other female doesn't carry TB. That's proposterous.
Oh I'm sorry Red Cross, was that not the reason you asked me that question? Well, the only other reason I can think of is that you think gay men have some sort of "gayness" gene we DEFINATELY wouldn't want flowing through other people's vains. I'm just so offended right now. I mean the thought of telling someone you don't want their potentially life saving blood because they are a gay man or might have had sex with a man who had sex with another man is absolutely repugnant. I guess it is ok, as long as I can be sure that you, Red Cross, are going walk up and down the ERs of hospitals and explain to the families of people who's lives were lost for lack of blood that you could have saved them if you weren't so sickeningly homophobic. You make me sick.
You test the blood anyway don't you? I mean honestly. The effects of this public policy are horrific!
1. You are encouraging people to LIE to you when they answer questions about their lives. Clearly this could have all SORTS of horrid implications.
2. You sirs and madams, are encouraging a disgusting breed of homophobia; state sponsored repression. Don't bother government, in passing hate-crime legislation, when benevolent organizations like the Red Cross are teaching Americans how to fee and think about the issue: don't touch gay men! Their blood is diseased and has "the gayness". Oh my heaven.
Now you may infer from this post, that I myself am a lesbian. This is not the case. Nor is it the case, that I have found any sort of scriptural support for the concept that homosexuality is not a sin. But that doesn't really matter now does it? First of all, because what the Red Cross is doing is morally wrong, if for no other reason then they are discriminating based on sexual preference, perpetuating lies about the gay community, and teaching people to hate. I don't know what to do about gay rights but THIS is clearly NOT the answer.
Shame on you Red Cross. Go help someone else because your "benevolance" is not wanted here.
Sunday, November 06, 2005
3rd Street Promenade
Well ladies and gentlemen I know it has been a while since I've posted. The explanation that I have behind this, is that I have been working on a huge post, and I can't get it to come out right, so I scrapped it. Tonight I went to see "Goodbye, and Goodnight" with a friend in Santa Monica. Having been put on notice that blogging is something in my nature, he has requested to be heretofore refered to as "Mystery Man". We went downtown there, to the third street Promenade. He had never been there before, and was impressed I think, with the quite obvious coolness therein. It was very cold and very colorful; like la Posada. Street performers, stores, food, and badly dressed teenagers.
More importantly however, the movie was absoultely fantastic! Black and white and glorious. I am almost too tired to post about it...but I definately loved it. I find it odd, that I can enjoy a movie with someone I have almost nothing in common with that no one else I have plenty in common with would like to see.
He hates sports: thought the Texas Rangers were called the Dallas Rangers. He thinks you can like the Dallas Cowboys AND the San Fransisco 49rs at the same time. He doesn't like country and does like Calfornia. He doesn't even know who the Spurs are...he somehow thinks it is acceptable for people HERE to wear Cowboy boots. He doesn't like Harry Potter...or cars...he drives a BUICK. Heavens to Betsy mama...we got ourselves a yankee!
Tonight we each go home, and in the morning we will each go to Church in a starkly different way. I'll go to the late service with Jonathan, and Mystery Man will watch his Church on the internet. Different strokes for different folks. Still a nice kid...guess I'll be making lots of both new AND different friends.
More importantly however, the movie was absoultely fantastic! Black and white and glorious. I am almost too tired to post about it...but I definately loved it. I find it odd, that I can enjoy a movie with someone I have almost nothing in common with that no one else I have plenty in common with would like to see.
He hates sports: thought the Texas Rangers were called the Dallas Rangers. He thinks you can like the Dallas Cowboys AND the San Fransisco 49rs at the same time. He doesn't like country and does like Calfornia. He doesn't even know who the Spurs are...he somehow thinks it is acceptable for people HERE to wear Cowboy boots. He doesn't like Harry Potter...or cars...he drives a BUICK. Heavens to Betsy mama...we got ourselves a yankee!
Tonight we each go home, and in the morning we will each go to Church in a starkly different way. I'll go to the late service with Jonathan, and Mystery Man will watch his Church on the internet. Different strokes for different folks. Still a nice kid...guess I'll be making lots of both new AND different friends.
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
I Am Self-Aggrandizing!
OK SO GUESS WHO MADE A 29 ON THEIR CONTRACTS MIDTERM!
Oh wait, that was me!
Gawd dawg it I'm cool!
Oh wait, that was me!
Gawd dawg it I'm cool!
Monday, October 31, 2005
MTV
Recently I have, unfortunately as far as some may be concerned, taken to watching MTV Video wake-up in the mornings before class. I am not sure why I have started doing this. I know when I started doing it though. Over a month ago when I got bronchitus and sinusitus, I was lying in bed with nothing to watch, flipping channels with my handy-dandy [NOTEBOOK!] Universal Remote Control. During this media escapade, I came upon a video with a sound I liked. It turned out to be Click Five's New Single: Just The Girl I'm Looking For. As I watched the video I thought "Hm...I like this song. There's no radio up here, so I probably wouldn't have ever heard of it until iTunes featured it. Maybe I should watch more...". And so I did.
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