Nicknames

I have always had a facination with nicknames. I think everyone, secretly, has a facination with nicknames. It is my personal belief [and as we have covered many times previous to the instant post on this blog, all my personal beliefs and opinions are correct] that everyone has always secretly wished that they had a cool nickname. Do not deny it, for it is the absolute truth!!

But what exactly do nicknames mean? Some nicknames, are for private use only. For example, there are those we use with teachers or authority figures that are only to indicate a sense exhasperation with them. One of my proffessors in undergrad was a bit bumbling and kind of awkward. Somehow though, he was often put in charge of big public events, often turning them into big public spectacles. This led to the nickname "Bubbles", a derivitave of Bubbles the Clown. But similarly, some nicknames that are private are not for ridicule purposes, but for the purposes of affection: like when my daddy called me Foo Foo when I was a baby.

As we grow older though, we all want to be the one with the good nickname. All good nicknames have good stories. I will tell you what though: I have often been facinated by people with enough skill to choose their own nicknames. That is something which has NEVER failed to impress me. Those are the people who are so rogue, so cool, that they can say things like "Call me the Fonz" and everyone WILL JUST DO IT! I have read enough Judy Blume books to know that this is CLEARLY not how it works in real life. There a plenty of examples of young adolescents who give it their all: they will do ABSOLUTELY anything to get people to call them Trixie, or Pinkie, or some other thing that ends in "IE" or "Y" pronounced "eeeeeeeee". But it doesn't seem to work out well for them...now why is that I wonder?

I'll tell you why that is ladies and gentlemen, it's because nicknames are inherently cool: both the ones that are used mockingly and those that are not. If no one cases about you or your mild ability to annoy then clearly they will not take the time to assign you a nickname. But if you are so menacing as to qualify you for "nickname land" than you are GOLDEN. that's why these silly teeny-boppers could not force nick-nameness. You can't force cool. Only the truly cool can say "You will refer to me as Mystery Man yes?" and have people acquiesce. Man, NOW THAT'S cool.

Nicknames always have something important to say about people. It seems to me that most people worry more about their nicknames then they are willing to admit. We all want someone -particularly that certian someone- to pay attention to us enough to give us a nickname, but we wonder what each nickname means. What is the secret meaning behind the names others give us? I think the real question is, why are we only happy with nicknames that reflect what we would hope to project about ourselves?