Lonely

What are you supposed to do about lonliness? I think I was in the 7th grade when I first became familiar with the concept of being lonely even while surrounded by people. I believe this realization came from reading the Phantom Tollbooth and learning that Milo, although surrounded by people was lonely, and although surrounded by stuff, wasn't happy.

Now that I'm older, I realize that lonliness comes in all shapes and forms. I suspect many of you will not understand what I'm about to say, but I would contend that has very little to do with the subjective reality of my opinion.

Society is ridiculous - they teach you that you can't be completely happy without a "significant other" of some type. I don't really think that's true - I think that I was quite satisfied with my life when I was single. That isn't to say there was no room for someone else, it is simply to say that it is possible to exist independently of another person.

But, and I hate to say it, I'm almost more lonley now then I was then. I'm definately more miserable now - knowing isn't enough. Knowing someone loves you isn't really what fills the space you found when you realized you loved them is it? Or maybe it does, and it's just that a different space opens up when they get on a plane and fly right out of your time zone.

Just around the corner doesn't really go well with so many miles. And I'm not sure that phone calls cure the phenomenon of two people looking at two different oceans at the same time with nothing but facebook in between. And "I love you" is sometimes the most painful thing right after "I love you too" a person can hear.

Growing up teaches you that life isn't always happy endings and smiley faces and white girls jumping up and down because the Frat boy in Act II finally admitted he cares for her. In plays, that's always the end of Act V isn't it? The curtain falls and everyone sighs with relief - as if him saying he cares for her and her saying she cares for him was all it took to conquor the void caused by a whole lot of cognitive dissonance in Acts I-IV. But let me tell you folks, that's only Act I, Scene V. The real question is NOW WHAT.

Act II is where the families go at it - all giving their opinions and most of them less than helpful if not downright hurtful. Act III is the sad and pathetic attempt to squeeze in a vist or two that only seems to make the whole situation worse. Act IV is where we find out she's more miserable then she was before and he doesn't know what to do about it. As for Act V I don't know what that is...and although I sincerely hope it's not true, I may never know.

I guess we'll all just have to keep watching...and hope that the Screen Actor's Guild doesn't convince the leads their talents would be better utilized in some other film with a more predictable plot, a curtain drop after "aww I care about you too" and no difficulty after an empty "I love you". But you never know, Unions can be pretty persuasive.

I guess it's a good thing Unions are basically illegal in Texas.